Posted by: kristensawkwardness | August 17, 2010

The Hope of Every “Nonsten” Dies

So, here’s the skinny folks


as it turns out, you were wrong.

I know it sucks, I know you hate her.

But you can still fap to his pictures online, yes?

Alright, before I get started…. I post one so you can unload

Feeling better?

Thank God, cause I am…

Anywho, now that you have released your umm…. tension,

let me redirect you to the latest phenomenon I like to call KfuckingPattz.

Its called that for two reasons.

  1. Its better than Robsten
  2. because she is in fact doing just that 😉


We saw it here:

and here:

and here:

and here:

So all I can say to you now is…..

Don’t you feel like a fucktard?

Come and join us. All any of us want to do is just join in with them….

We all want a little KfuckingPattz loving.

So what I gather from you “nonstens” is that you just hate the celestial one because she is getting what you aren’t.

Man up bitches, you wouldn’t be getting it anyway.

So face the facts. They are in luff.

Posted by: kristensawkwardness | July 9, 2010

Kristen’s moving performance on Welcome to the Rileys

Kristen Stewart in Welcome to the Rileys

This movie is going to be a heart ripper.  I choke up just watching the trailer.

When she says “I’m nobody’s little girl”  I want to take her, scoop her up and protect her.

I think it is great how Kristen always chooses roles that mean something.  That teach something.

Awkward or not, she is extremely smart and talented and I can not wait to see this movie.


Posted by: kristensawkwardness | July 6, 2010

Kristen’s Warm Apple Pie

Okay, so not really. Its actually Loquat Tarts.

Not to be confused with Pop Tarts or Twat Tarts.

We all knew she loved to cook and now we finally have one of her own recipes.

Kristens loquat tart recipe here.

Try to keep your dirty thought to yourselves, you filthy pussies….

Okay, moving on…

While I have been keeping up with our beloved Kristen, I have also been drowning in fan fiction, Thanks to KStewFanGirl. Ever need a recommendation? Find her 😉

or check out my fan fic rec page

Anywho, let me go all the way back to the Eclipse Premiere. Our girl got marked up by some beyotch! What balls!

The only people who hate Kristen are the people who are so insanely jealous of her amazing talent and the fact that Rob gets in her pants 😉

Her thoughts on sharpiegate.

Let me now discuss her hair. Oh em to the mofo gee!


Did anyone else notice how Kristen made fun of Letterman for saying “woofs” instead of wolves? He didn’t even notice. Dumb ass…


She and Rob showed up at a theater in LA last night!

To sum it all up

She looks gorgeous,  she makes loquat tart (not just mean spam), she thinks Letterman is an idiot, she juggles, she golfs, she’s in love, Rob is in love,

we’re in love.


Posted by: kristensawkwardness | June 16, 2010

Happy Birthday KStewFanGirl!


*raises glass*

Here’s to you having an awesome birthday and great sex tonight!

I thought I’d throw in a little pic spam for ya 😉


Bottoms up!

Love ya girlie!

Posted by: kristensawkwardness | June 7, 2010

Kristen Stewart at the MTV Movie Awards 2010

First off,

She looked stunning.  Like an angel.

And dont we all feel dirty for the things we want to do to this angel?

No one and I mean NO ONE could deny who beautiful she is & how amazing she looked last night.

She received awards for:

Best Female Performance, Best Kiss, and New Moon won Best Movie


would she be Kristen if she didn’t go to accept her award without some awkwardness? No, and this is why I love her more and more every day. She is just like most normal girls. She actually makes mistakes & trips sometimes.

Thank God that sexy beast was there to help her up.  And speaking of Rob…..UNF!

Was he like walking sex last night or was it just me?

Holy mother of God.... *sigh*

Okay, I’ll try to get back on track here…

Let us go back to the Best Kiss Award, shall we?

Last years:

This Years:

How fucking adorable are they?

And yeah, he kissed her. Discussion over.

Rob swooped in and surprised her. Kristen was all…OMG!

And Perez, keep Kristen’s name out of your filthy tea bag lovin’ mouth or the Bad Ass Cops will come and find yo stinky ass!

Source , Source, Source, & Source

Posted by: kristensawkwardness | May 25, 2010

Awkward KStew Picspam

Posted by: kristensawkwardness | May 20, 2010

We Ship It

It’s Vampire Diaries vs. The Twilight Saga

It’s Elena vs. Bella

It’s Damon vs. Edward

Of course, we (me and @KStewFanGirl) of all people, love Edward.

We lust over the fuckhawtness they call Rob.

And Elena is cute, I guess.


the whole idea of Damon, the ultimate sexy as fucking hell bad guy, being with our beloved Bella, well its just mind boggling delish!

You can ‘Ughhh!’ and turn your heads if you feel necessary, but you know…..

It.Turns.You.On 😉

(I knew you’d like that one! or those?)

And for those of you who have decided that you hate us for this post, we thought we would add a little something for you too….


You guys are too easy!

I kid I kid…

This is what we were really going to post:

So you can all sleep well knowing that we still luff Kristen and Robert, but lust over Kristen and Ian.

Over and out.

Posted by: kristensawkwardness | April 19, 2010

Coachella’s Newest Gansta Takes the Scene

We knew she was there.

We knew she was poolside…..

What we wanted to know is what was she wearing!

We were all expecting a bikini….maybe with a little Mary J on it? possibly?

I may have secretly been praying for an isty bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini.

As usual, she didn’t disappoint.

She wasn’t wearing what we expected, but none the less, she was still amazingly beautiful.

Only Kristen Stewart could look this hot in what she was wearing.

With her Dodgers hat and Rob’s dirty t-shirt, She looks amazing.

I can finally rest easy knowing that angelic skin of hers isn’t being sunburned.

I just wished that we would have had just one pick with a gang sign like this.

That would have completed her ensemble for me.

I just hope she had her water gun handy….

Oh Fuck Me! To be that water gun....

for sanity purposes, of course.

Now, clear your minds you filthy pussies!!!

Thanks to the always wonderful KStewartFans for the new pic.

Posted by: kristensawkwardness | April 17, 2010

You Think You Have Better Things To Do?

You think you have better things to do?

You think you have a life?

You don’t.

Get over yourself.

The Runaways is what you should be doing in your spare time.

And to all the peeps who still think of Kristen as “The Girl from Twilight,”

Fuck you!

She is so much more than Twilight.

Twilight Schmilight!

Kristen Stewart wet the panties of everyone who had the balls (or privileged since it was so insanely limited) to watch The Runaways!

I (KristensAwkward ) was able to go watch her Majesty unfold on Saturday.

Other than the mess, I may or may not have left in that theater seat, next to RobsStew , it was a fuckhawt movie!

The luff between Kris and Dakota or Jett and Currie….. WOW! (women on women.)

Don’t lie, you know it worked for you too….

And as I have found myself chanting way to much for a married woman in one day…… I like boys. I like boys. I like boys.

Have you seen the sexiness fuckedness of her in Flaunt?

And to that she and Dakota say:

We want women!!!

Posted by: kristensawkwardness | March 29, 2010

Kristen Sounds Off

She tried to ignore the obnoxious paparazzi.

She ducked her head, look down, and she covered her face. But when one of those dumb asses tripped and fell down, she laughed and fist pumped.

All I can say to that is:

Good for her!

But for shits and giggles, we’d like to imagine her yelling some other things…. *evil grin*

  • She could be singing really loud to her iPod. Listening to Squad Five-O’s ‘Fight the System’
  • Back the FUCK up! to the papz.
  • Hey Perez, your blog sucks and only morons read it!
  • Hey Rob, this guy says you’re one lucky mofo!
  • Hey you bitching non-stens, why so jealous?
  • U.G.L.Y. You ain’t got no alibi, you ugly!
  • I’m sexy. I’m cute, I’m too popular to boot. I’m bitchin’, great hair, the guys all love to stare. I’m wanted, I’m hot I’m everything your not!
  • OMG They killed Kenny…You Bastards!
  • Bitch down in the front!
  • and our favorite, Haters to the left!

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