Posted by: kristensawkwardness | November 27, 2009

Does Kristen Stewart do Black Friday? I think not

Okay so, obviously she shops. I mean with her sense of style , I am sure she has put a few thrift stores out of business.

But does she take advantage of the insanity they call Black Friday? Can we even imagine her getting up early and running out to the local WalMart to purchase a cheap DVD player?

I think not!


1.  She clearly says she is a last minute shopper in this video clip. 

2.  She would most likely get mobbed by a bunch of fuckers adoring fans. Remember this?:

3.  Even though she is a “thrifty” shopper, she doesn’t exactly need to save the money like the rest us us broke bitches.

4.  She is just too effin’ cool for it.  She could pay bitches to shop for her!

What I think Kristen is really doing on Black Friday:

1.  First off, she slept late because she was up till all hours of the morning eating Ganja cake with loverboy .

2.  When she did finally roll out of bed, she said “Fuck my life! After eating so much food yesterday, I am a little bloated and everyone’s gonna think I am having your baby again!”

3.  Then she got a phone call from Sumshit Summit Entertainment who asked her to please go online and tweet through their account again.  And she looks to Rob and says “Why the fuck did we ever sign up for this shit?  I thought we were doing another movie no one would see”

4.  She makes a big bowl of cereal and drinks the OJ right out of the container.

5.  She stays in her pajamas all day watching cartoon and licking chatting with Rob.

6.  The she calls Taylor over to catch grapes for entertainment purposes only. After awhile she is bored and sends him on his way.

7.  Then she steps outside to smoke one.

Please dont let anyone find me here...

8.  Then after as many booze as she can physically hold in her tiny body, she passes out for the evening.

Good night your Stewartness *bows down*


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