Posted by: kristensawkwardness | December 16, 2009

Kristen’s night before Christmas

Kristen’s Night Before Christmas:

‘Twas the night before Christmas,

when all through the house

She was wearing nothing

not even a blouse.

The apple pies were sat

on the counter with care

In hopes that her lover

soon would be there.

Her new puppy

all curled in his bed

While vision of spam

danced in his head.

With Kristen in her pajamas

from the Panic Room set

had just settled down

for her long winters nap,

When out on the lawn,

there arose such a clatter

She sprang from the bed

to see what was the matter.

Away to the window

she flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters

and threw up the sash.

The crunchy lawn all brown

from lack of tender care

Gave a nice homely feel

to passers: BEWARE.

When, what to her wondering

eyes should appear,

but a super sexy dude

and two other nudes.

With  shribbled  up manhood

so cold was the day,

I knew in a moment

They must all be gay.

So silly they looked

all naked with shame

I whistled and shouted,

and called them by name:

Oh Robert , Oh Oregano, Oh Jesse you fools

Oh put your clothes on

I needn’t see your jewels.

To the top of the staircase

To the front door they came

“Now open this door

Right now!” they exclaimed.

As they banged on the door

their wild furry flew,

“Open the door

We’re coming for you!”

They were naked and cold

Shaking they were.

And bare were their feet

Oh they must hurt.

A bundle of toys

Rob had on his back,

And he suddenly looked “happy”

just opening his pack.

Jesse’s eyes  – how they twinkled

his dimples – how merry!

His knees were knocking

Which wasn’t  very shocking.

Oregano’s droll little mouth

was drawn up with plea,

and the nervousness was clear

as he was very antsy.

They spoke not a word,

just stood there to wait

As she stood in shock

thinking what to say.

While running her finger

along her thin stomach

and giving a nod

to the bedroom she ran.

The boys followed closely

as they wanted to see

what she had planned.

They were sure they wanted it badly.

But they heard her sweet voice

as she ran up the stairs:

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night”



  1. OMG that was awesome just amazing.

    They must all be gay -freaking hilarious

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