Posted by: kristensawkwardness | December 27, 2009

What Kristen Stewart Does on New Years Eve

What Kristen Stewart Does on New Years Eve


She doesn’t go out.

Mainly because big groups of girls scare the crap out of her & because older people can be patronizing.

She doesn’t make any plans until a few days before & will probably jeans & a t-shirt.

You know, anything that is beat up. She likes to look like a hobo.

There will be no washing of the hair & she’ll wear yesterday’s jeans.

She will invite Evan Rachel WoodJodie Foster , Michael Angarano ,

Robert Pattinson , Jesse Eisenberg , & some close friends & family.

She’ll bakes pies. Make mean spam (as per Rob.)

She wont kiss anyone she doesn’t know. She’s a weirdo like that.

She will tell stories, because she loves a great story.

Its like the Kristen show and its so boring.

She will be using her hands to do all the talking as she stumbles to get the words out.

After her stories, she’ll read off her list of New Years resolutions.

She will start off by telling everyone that New Years resolutions are the biggest crock of crap she has ever heard of,

but she is all about traditions, so she is doing it anyway.

And then, here goes:

1.  Try to stop reading so much fanfic. Why did I ever start?

2.  Try to keep the Heineken drinking down to Fridays and Saturdays. Ahh… who the hell am I kidding?

3.  Quit biting my lip.  They really give me a lot of shit about it!

4.  Get rid of all of my Hello Kitty stuff. I really think I am just too old for it anymore. Besides I’ll just keep it at Mom’s place.

5.  Eat a few more pies to keep the booty looking plump.

6.  Buy some new shoes. The yellow ones I borrowed from my crazy aunt aren’t cutting it anymore.

7.  Learn to ice skate. I am coordinated enough for that, right?

8.  Quit smoking.

9.  Remain quirky self throughout all this fame madness

10.  Shoot up some paps.

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Responses

  1. lol…that IS very Stewy


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