Posted by: kristensawkwardness | March 25, 2010

Kristen’s Mini Mistake

Oh Kristen, God love ya!

Every time I think I’ll have no new material to blog about, you come through for me. For this, I am thankful. But in all seriousness, you are so normal. This is why we cant stop loving you. In all the madness you deal with on a day to day basis….you.are.normal.

We all fuck up. And on a regular basis. Yours is just videoed and posted on TMZ and the blogs of haters.

And I just needed to clear up something else….. When you said “Fuck Me!” Was that like an invitation or erm…. yeah? no? Okay, sorry…

And might I also add, that what a fucker that pap was. He knew what he was doing, parking the exact same car next to hers…. and ever so conveniently having the camera ready.

Here goes:

Posted by: kristensawkwardness | March 23, 2010

20 Reasons To Love Kristen Stewart

Kristen Stewart, at 19, has done more than most of us will ever do in a lifetime.

So we have put together a list of reasons why we love her…

Ready?

Brace. yourself.

Seriously. Cause, here goes…

1. She can rock a 2 toned shag like no other.

2. She can look cute  dropping her awardscoughing at the Oscars.

3. She can play basketball, football, & guitar

4. She sings.

5. She can out bitch-face anyone.

6. She can out sweet-face anyone.

7. Her butt. (It looks like Jimmy is ready to spank it. tehehe)

8. She fist pumps a lot.

9. She bakes pies and makes a mean spam sandwich.

1o. She laughs at fallen paps.

11.  She is cute enough to pull off a see through shirt without looking sleazy.

12.  She loves Rock-N-Roll

13.  She is the Hanky Panky Champion

14.  As 411 calls her, Legs McGee

15.  She gets to do this

16.  She gets to do that

17.  She is a hot hobo like no other mofo.

18.  She still reads.

19.  She can get away with out wearing a bra

20. and the best reason of all to love her? Because she doesn’t give a fuck what I think or what you think.

Love,

The Awkward Crew

Posted by: kristensawkwardness | March 8, 2010

Kristen Coughs it up to a Glamorous Night at the Oscars

Kristen looked stunning last night at the Oscars.

A caterpillar into a butterfly I read on one post.

But would Kris really be Kristen Stewart with out her infamous awkwardisms?  Hell no! That’s why we love her. That’s why they hate her.

And that’s why she is a bad ass.

As she and the puppy presented the horror montage, she got nervous. It was her first fucking time for crying out loud. Cut the kid a break!

SHE COUGHED!

That.was.all.

She “ahem’ed” and suddenly the Earth stopped spinning, haters came out of the wood work, and twitter nearly died.

So never mind that she looked stunning, the music was insanely loud while they were presenting, and nearly all of the other presenters fudged their lines,  all of the Oscar attention was on:

How will Kristen fuck it up this time?

Well, what do we think Kristen would say to all the controversy?

WHOOPDYFUCKINGDO!

As for what we ( @KStewFanGirl and myself @KristensAwkward ) think about the whole debacle, Kristen was fabulously herself. She was beautiful, she was awkward, and we adore her more today than we did yesterday.

And Kristen,

You did it girl, You were great! Fuck the world. Take a deep breath baby, cause its finally over.

Love,

The Awkward Crew


Source

Posted by: kristensawkwardness | February 19, 2010

Rob might jizz in his pants at the BAFTA’s

When Rob sees The Fierce One:

and her smokin’ legs:

at the BAFTA awards….. he will be singing or at least thinking:

Lock eyes from across the room
Down my drink while the rhythms boom
Take your hands, skip the names
No need here for the silly games
Make our way through the smoke and crowd
The club is the sky and I’m on your cloud
Move in close as the lasers fly
Our bodies touch and the angels cry

Leave this place go back to yours
Our lips first touch outside your doors
The whole night what we’ve got in store
Whisper in my ear that you want some more
And I jizz in my pants


This really never happens you can take my word
I won’t apologize
That’s just absurd
Mainly your fault for the way that you dance
And now I jizz in my pants
Don’t tell your friends or I’ll say you’re a slut
Plus it’s your fault
You were rubbing my butt
I’m very sensitive
Some would say that’s a plus
Now I’ll go home and change

I need a few things from the grocery
Do things alone now mostly
Left me heartbroken, not lookin’ for love
Surprise in my eyes when I looked above
The checkout counter and I saw her face
My heart stood still so did time and space
Never thought that I could feel real again
But the look in her eyes said I need a friend
She turned to me that’s when she said it
Looked me dead in the face, asked cash or credit
And I jizzed in my pants


It’s perfectly normal
Nothing wrong with me
But we’re going to need a cleanup
On aisle 3
And now I’m posed in an awkward stance
Because I jizzed in my pants
To be fair
You were flirting a lot
Plus the way you bag cans makes me
Bothered and hot
Please stop acting like you’re not impressed
One more thing
I’m gonna pay by check

Last week, I saw a film
As I recall it was a horror film
Walked outside into the rain
Checked my phone and saw you rang
And I jizzed in my pants

Speeding in the street, when the red lights flash
Need to get away, need to make a dash
A song comes on that reminds me of you
And I jizz in my pants

The next day
My alarm goes off
And I jizz in my pants

Open my window and a breeze rolls in
And I jizz in my pants

When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense
I jizzed in my pants

I just take a grape
And I jizz in my pants


I went to. . .
Ok seriously you guys, can we. . . . ok?

I jizz right in my pants
Every time you’re next to me
And when we’re holdin hands
Its like havin sex with me
You say I’m premature
I just call it ecstasy
I wear a rubber at all times
Its a necessity
Cuz I jizz in my pants
(I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants (x3))
Yes I jizz in my pants
(I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants)

With Rob jizzing and Andy jizzing….. Kristen is bound to jizz too 😉

Source

Posted by: kristensawkwardness | January 23, 2010

‘The Runaways’ Sundance Portraits

Dakota Fanning, Floria Sigismondi, and Miss Kristen Stewart at the Sundance Festival January 23, 2010

And the new ‘The Runaways’ poster

Source and Source

Posted by: kristensawkwardness | January 22, 2010

Kristen ready for Stewdance… erm, I mean Sundance

January 22, 2010 Miss Fierce after she arrives in Park City

The all mighty Stew enjoying a much needed cigarette after her private jet ride. As always she is rocking her flannel shirt, skin tight black jeans, addidas shoes, a hoodie, and shades. Notice how only one of her gloves has no fingers… all the better to smoke her cigarette. 😉 In her hand she holds a bottle of xanax to get her through the next few days of press, press, and more press.  I wish her well and congrats on all of her upcoming projects. You rock my world Stew!

Source

Posted by: kristensawkwardness | January 21, 2010

Stewart ROCKS The Runaways!

New Pics of Kristen from The Runaways

I am so stoked for this movie!


Pure intensity

And a new clip of the movie:

I watched it 24,000 times…. the other 830 views were from @KStewFanGirl

I completely love how Kristen wears chucks in most of her movies.  Does she demand this, do they just think its “her”, or is it pure coincidence?

Source

Posted by: kristensawkwardness | January 12, 2010

The 1st Annual 2010 Stewy Awards

The 1st Annual 2010 Stewy Awards

Kristen Stewart deserves more trophies than the ones she is awarded.  Here,  we intend to do just that. We all love her for her unending acting talent, quirkiness, awkward-isms, and her all around fierceness.

Below are the different categories. Please feel free to vote for your favorite Stew moments.

 

 

Kristen's keeping an eye on you

Kristen is away shacking up on a personal trip at this time and will not be here tonight to accept her award.

In her honor, we would like to thank all of the kick-ass fans!  You guys all rock!

My personal favorite Kristen Stewart movie moment:

Source and Source and  source

Posted by: kristensawkwardness | January 6, 2010

My favorite Kristen Stewart Photos

Posted by: kristensawkwardness | January 2, 2010

Kristen spotted on New Years Eve

Okay, so my New Year’s Eve predictions for the Stewkward…..

Alright, I am a woman, I can admit it…. I think.

I was wrong.

She did, in fact, go out.

That was the only one I thought I was sure about too.  I failed 😉

This is her wearing the infamous  “hobo gloves”

and this is the Pattz with the same girl:

The girl:

Is freaking adorable! I mean look at that smile.  And the converse shirt.  And she took a separate picture with the both of them. I love her!  She is just too cute!

Source

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